she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
