YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I need help removing her.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
