Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
