Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
