Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
