My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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