He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
