Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize
