I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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