Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
