She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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