I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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