Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
