But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
