I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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