come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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