Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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