I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
