It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
