we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize