We're like a lot better than the average bears
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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