Are you still at the party or did I leave?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
