I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
