She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
