I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
