Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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