ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
