...so i touched it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
