hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
