You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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