haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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