Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
