oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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