Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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