question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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