You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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