They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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