I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
