i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
