I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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