Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
