when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
