If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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