david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize