Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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