So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
