well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
