i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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