So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
