JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
