I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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