Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
