dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
