piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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