Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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