no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
