That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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