just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
