The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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