party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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