Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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