maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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