She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
