That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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