I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have post one night stand depression
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