but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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