I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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